I hope that everyone is finally settling into their dorms or apartments, fending off roaches, roommates and dirty dishes in their new home away from home. With campus reopening in two days, we’re all walking into the change together; whether you’re trying to use stairs again without collapsing, talk to people from more than six feet away through masks, paying money to suck at bowling and wear other people’s shoes in the Student Union or are throwing homemade molotovs at Peppino’s for closing at ten. I’m Davis White, a Senior Staff Writer for The Tiger, here to guide you through the struggle and find answers to your questions on these subjects and more with this week’s “Tiger to Tiger.”
Question #1: My boyfriend cheated on me. How can I get revenge without being arrested?
I’d say that, while going full Carrie Underwood on your ex may seem like a great idea, it’s not. Take the high road. Whoever you were with obviously isn’t worth the time it would take to get back at him, and I don’t know how long you guys were together for, but I don’t know if anything you could do —that wouldn't get you into trouble— would even upset him. If he’ll stoop low enough to cheat, then he’ll probably laugh off whatever you do with his friends.
That said, flat tires are a pain to deal with.
Question #2: All of my friends are starting to annoy me. What should I do? I don’t want to be mean, but I don’t want to see them anymore.
When your friends start to get under your skin, take some time to remove yourself and reconsider. Think of all of the good times you guys have had together, what it was that made those moments particularly special. You may find that you like your friends, but maybe in smaller doses or in certain situations.
Another option would always be to talk to them about how you’re feeling. Maybe don’t tell them nose-to-nose that they’re annoying you, but I would recommend talking about those things they’re doing that you aren’t a fan of.
But, if it’s time to cut and run, it happens. Nobody ever stays on the same page forever, but at least try and explain this to them. Never just ghost someone who you’ve considered a friend. No matter how annoying they’ve become, that person whose company you enjoyed back in the day is still in there. Don’t look like the bad guy.
Question #3: I borrowed my friend’s super expensive shirt and got a huge stain on the front. I’ve tried everything, but I can’t get it out, and I can’t afford to buy her a new one. Any advice?
Firstly, so you don’t feel bad, I’ve ruined my fair share of expensive clothing. Don’t eat Cookout in your prom suit.
If you can’t get the stain out, I’d definitely just be honest with your friend. They probably won’t be extremely mad, but if they are, it’ll blow over. There are also lots of YouTube videos on how to get out bad stains. I would try some Shout if you haven’t, or even a good carpet cleaner.
Most importantly, don’t hype yourself up too much over it. Just talk to them and let them know what happened. Or, if you’d like, throw it in for a fifth heavy-duty wash and hope that your friend never notices.
Question #4: I thought I was muted on Zoom but I wasn’t, and everyone heard me burp the loudest burp ever burped. Should I withdraw from the class?
I would say that we’ve all been there, but that wouldn’t be true.
In the future, it may be wise to look at your microphone icon before letting one rip. You definitely don't want to drop the class, though. I'm sure your classmates have already forgotten about it, at least until they read this column and realize that you had to ask for advice about it. It may refresh their memory.
For now, lay low and try and keep your video off when you can. The Zoom-classroom environment is a harsh one, where it's as easy to forget you’re in class as it is to switch tabs over to Amazon, so don't feel bad. I saw someone shotgun a Corona Seltzer during a recorded World Literature lecture at 2:30 on a Wednesday, so I would argue that there are fates worse than yours.
Question #5: How do you practice patience with people who have opposing views?
Always be an active listener. You should never join a conversation with the intention of rolling your eyes and mentally writing your counter arguments while they express their beliefs. There is always a bit of truth to someone’s logic and always something to learn. The same standard applies to them when you begin to speak; they're probably taken aback by what you're saying in a similar way, And if you both use patience, questioning and a dash of reason, you both could walk away with a better understanding of one another and the opposing view. There should always be civility in disagreement and discourse.
The setting is also key. Have a good environment to philosophically “duke it out,” and allow yourself enough time to get to know the person and understand all of what they're saying. Restate what you understand their beliefs to be once they’re finished, and allow them to further explain where there is confusion. Remember, they're letting you in on something they probably think is important. Try not to bash it for them, but share how you feel as well.